*MST: Somehow, I created this (or the problem with karma)

The process of creating is pretty amazing. Hasn't humankind forever been enticed by the idea of creators and creations? A newer concept that's gained some popularity-that we are actually the creators (as in, we are all creating our own realities and we create what happens to us)-is an interesting concept.

From personal experience I really do believe that our thoughts help shape our realities. I've witnessed the power of self-fulfilling prophecies in my own life (both positive and negative) and I've watched how some people, due to their sheer belief or disbelief in themselves, create success or failure. I would not be a life coach if I didn't think that we had a great deal of power over our thoughts, our perceptions and what happens in our lives. For the record, I DO think taking responsibility for one's life is an essential step in creating one's happiness.

But too often, what I see happening with this particular spiritual truth is not empowerment. When people believe that they create everything that happens to them, then what does it mean when bad things happen in their lives? If you believe that you somehow created your present day reality, what do you make of your breast cancer? Or you son's DUI? Or your husband's infidelity? If YOU created it, then doesn't it make the bad
things "your fault?" And how does that feel?

Yeah. Exactly. It feels like shit.


In addition to the already difficult situation with which you've been presented, now you've got all this extra baggage to contend with. In addition to the mastectomy or the legal fees or your divorce, you've got to figure out how YOU created this mess in the first place.

It seems like a good time to share a short story with you about yours truly. Being the philosophical type who reads more spiritual self-help books than Oprah, I, too, once erroneously believed I was responsible for all of the good and bad that happened in my life. If I could not make sense of why something bad was happening to me, I chalked it up to karma. Must have been something I did in a past life to deserve this-I'd tell myself. Which of course, did nothing but make me feel even worse.

You can imagine what a field day I had when I was diagnosed with cancer. I took on probably one of the biggest research projects of my life. In my almost insatiable quest for finding some meaning on how I created my disease, I found tons of spiritual books with different theories about why people get cancer. Here are just some of them:

-not loving yourself enough
-negative thinking
-bad karma from a past life
-damaged chakras
-suppressing your "true" self
-bad inherited genes
-torn 7th layer of the aura
-not following your soul's destiny/soul's path

If you can believe it, I actually spent the better part of a decade trying to figure out which theory seemed the most accurate. Then something funny happened.

On one random day about four years ago, I met a neat person who told me about a camp for kids with cancer. I signed up to volunteer for this camp and spent a week with some amazing children. Some of them were chemo bald, some of them were in remission. But all of them knew how hard it was to be sick.

I could not imagine trying to explain to any of these kids that their cancers were a result of something they did wrong, a mistake they had made in their past or present life or an inadequacy. I could not imagine telling a child he/she was not following the path of their soul and that's why they were sick. When a seven-year-old little girl asked me why I thought people got cancer, I said, "Sometimes these things just happen."

That's when I realized that this answer was sufficient enough for me, too. Sometimes, these things just happen.

When they do, it seems like a good idea to treat yourself compassionately, with a lot of kindness and a lot of patience. It might be a good time to remind yourself of your own goodness, of your deep, inner strength. It would probably help to surround yourself with people who shower you with support and understanding.

I'm not saying don't look for the deeper meaning in your life's struggles. I'm certainly not saying don't do any soul searching when life throws you an unpleasant curve ball. I'm not saying ignore the often beautiful lessons we learn about ourselves when life tests us. But to believe that your hardships are some kind of punishment from the universe will only create more negativity and more despair. Whether you believe in karma or not, all that any of us are really capable of creating is love. I'm starting to suspect that's what everything and everyone is here to teach us. If we really are the creators of our lives, shouldn't we focus on creating this?

*MSP stands for: Misunderstood Spiritual Truth