A year before I met G., I decided that I was tired of trying to find someone to love me. I had made up my mind-it just wasn't going to happen. I had gone on countless dates and had been in several disappointing relationships. I felt like I had really tried. At this time, I was 30. I realized that I had no one to take me out to dinner or bring me flowers or listen to my deepest dreams. Just when I felt so dejected I wanted to curl up and die, I decided that I needed to do these things for myself. Life was too short to wait around for someone who may not ever come. So that's what I did.
I dressed up and went out to dinner by myself. I got a leather-bound journal so that I could write out my deepest dreams (I figured this was one way I could listen to myself). I would go to the farmer's market and buy the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and come home and put them on the kitchen table. I took myself on beach side vacations, hiked the old growth forests of the Pacific Northwest and spent weekends in the mountains at bed and breakfasts. All by myself.
People would ask things like-Is it just you? Reservation for one? Here by yourself? Isn't that dangerous to go alone?
I would smile. Who else was going to take me to all these neat places and bring me all of these beautiful things if I didn't? I finally got to a place where I was perfectly content being with me. This was the first thing I did.
The second thing I did was learn about the law of attraction. I saw a DVD entitled The Secret and thought that it sounded kind of cool. The law of attraction goes like this: picture what it is you'd like to have, focus fully on the sensations that you think this thing will bring you, then let it go and accept the present. Eventually you will attract what you want because you have "programmed" yourself to attract that kind of energy.
I wanted to see if this worked. On the video, they suggested that people start small. They said to try to attract something like a cup of coffee. But I really wanted to put the law of attraction to the test. I figured if it was going to work, it could work with anything. I decided to try it with something really big-like a lifetime partner.
Each morning after my meditation, for about five minutes, I would "pretend" like I had a husband who adored me. I would "feel" what I imagined it would feel like to be completely loved (this wasn't hard since I had been actively loving myself for the past year). And, upon a wise friend's suggestion, I would always whisper the words-or better-when my meditation came to a close. Why limit yourself? Who knows what the universe may have in store for you? Then I would let go of this desire. I think this is the part that is not emphasized enough when people talk about energy attraction. You've got to let go of the desire for what it is you want or it doesn't work. You pretend to have it and all the sensations that go with it for about 5-15 minutes a day, and then you let it go and live fully in the present.
While I was practicing this, I didn't spend the day wishing I had someone to come home to. I didn't see couples walking together on the street and get envious. I just did my meditation, did my energy attraction exercise, let go of it and got on with my day.
Last January, when I decided to leave the not-so-exciting world of policy in Washington D.C, I moved back to Atlanta. I had kept up my meditation and law of attraction exercise for 3 months. The week I moved back, I met G. He took me to a French bistro and made me laugh. He teased me because I only wanted a hot chocolate and wouldn't let him buy me dinner. When I spilled my hot drink, he seemed concerned. Did I burn my hand? Was I ok? Then he got up quickly and got me a napkin. I swooned. He was sweet and kind and funny and intelligent. Everything I had asked for. (Oh, and very talented in the world of investing. My "or better" I guess).
14 months later, he is my husband. We had a private wedding last week, with a traditional Indian wedding planned for this summer in India and a traditional American wedding planned for this fall in Georgia. But on Thursday, it was just him and me. The priest told us 3 million gods were also present. I was pretty sure I could feel most of them there as well and I had an incredible mystical experience when the ceremony was done (more on that in another post).
But for now, I will say this. Self-love is a good foundation, a nice solid rock, for you to build your life upon. The law of attraction really does work. Why not give yourself the love and the life that you dream of? Why stay stuck in places and with people who do not serve your greatest good?
Life is short. Listen to your 85 year old self, she will tell you. It's time to start taking responsibility for your own happiness and to bring what it is you dream of into your reality.
*Try the law of attraction exercise. Start small if you'd like. Focus on your breathing for a few minutes, then do the mini-body meditation I described in an earlier post. THEN imagine something you'd like to have, imagine all of the sensations this thing will bring you and FEEL it in your physical body, as if you already have it. Pretend you've got if for about 5 minutes, at least. Then let it go. Don't wish for it or hope for it throughout the day. Just accept the present as it is. Then tomorrow, try the exercise again. See if you can attract something to you that you'd like to have. If it works for you, write me a comment. Tell me what you attracted-I'm curious to hear what people come up with! (Me? I've decided to start attracting a new, cute little sports car.)
No comments:
Post a Comment